Friday, September 20, 2013

Please excuse the lack of cooth

I know that I haven't been around much. I've had a lot going on in my life and it's not been all rainbows, sunshine and sparkles coming out of my ass. That being said I tend to like to leave the negativity off of the interwebz. But today I need a place to vent and somewhere that I can say FUCK a few times without having to look over my shoulder for little ears first.

I am tired. So fucking tired of bullshit. Let me tell you, for the most part I stay the hell away from it all but when it decides to show it's ugly, smelly ass face, I feel like I need a damn bulldozer to shovel all of it away from me. 

I'm sick to death of people taking me for granted and eventually walking all over me. And please, save it because I'm well aware that it's my own damn fault for letting it happen but it's just part of my nature. I give, and give, and give until there's nothing left to give anymore. I ensure the happiness of others before ensuring my own. Fuck a bunch of that shit! It's draining. I'm ready to focus on me and my happiness and my betterment. Everyone else can just go shove it up their ass. True story. (Made it up myself and everything)

That being said, I'm having a fucking baking fest this weekend. A full on bake myself into a coma bonanza. If you know me, you know that baking is relaxing and soothing to me. So it's on like motha' fuckin' donkey kong! 

I will be making banana nut bread, honey pumpkin bread, chocolate chip cookies, gingerbread cookies, chocolate chai cupcakes, and smores cupcakes. Maybe more. I'm not sure at this point. I might even cook some stuff too. And chances are I will find myself cleaning my house. 

Why is it that when I get pissed off or stressed out, I turn into fucking martha stewart/betty crocker/some random crazy lady.

I think I'm going to go with crazy lady.

If you're still reading....sorry you had to read all of that crap. Because I know that's what it is...crap.
But if you made it through, you're a trooper.
Sometimes a girl just needs a place to vent.

Happy FUCKING Friday.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Life according to a 4 year old

the moon is made of "green cheese" that makes it glow
helicopters have water skis on them to help them swim
People are able to live in China and work in Disneyworld. They travel back and forth by plane every day.
God is invisible and lives in our hearts (but she wants him to not be invisible because she wants to give him a hug)
Easter bunnies are like Santa in that they watch to see if you're good or bad.
Love means hugs and kisses 
You wear swim-soups in the pool
If it's raining you have to have an "underbrella"

Song lyrics and responses:

"dancing in the dark"
You can't dance in the dark mommy, that's silly. You can't see if it's dark.

"I'm pretty good at drinking beer"
hahaha, he's good at drinking root beer. I like root's a grown up drink. Can I have some root beer tonight?

That kid makes me laugh


Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Allergies can suck it

Ever feel like your nose is a faucet?
Like your head is going to explode from built up pressure?
Have you had so much fluid in your head that your ears pop every time you swallow?

Then you may want to tell mother nature to go eff herself.

I know all of the above are true for me.
My allergies are in full force right now and just a few days ago I felt like I couldn't breathe.
So now I'm on a benadryl and zertec regimen for the now
This of course means that at night, I'm passed the hell out

buuuttt that also means that in the morning I stay in a crazy benadyl haze.
Coffee doesn't even seem to make a difference.

Then again it probably doesn't help that last night's bed time was around 11 PM
Or that Munchkin woke me up at 2:45 this morning because she had an "accident"
Thank goodness for those goodnites bed pad things

I made her clean herself up and help change the sheets though.
I'm thinking that maybe if I make her help with the clean-up process that she'll realize how much more of a pain in the ass it is than just getting out of bed and going to the bathroom.

Now to wake the rest of the way up and go on about my day.

To much to do and not awake enough to care about more gifs or pictures or anything really.
Sorry...kind of.

Happy Tuesday :)

Monday, June 3, 2013

Weekends say whaaaat?!

Sami's Shenanigans

I came back on a Friday and then POOF! Vanished for the weekend.
No worries, I'm not going anywhere. Y'all know I'm a Monday-Friday blogger. 
I need my weekends for things
Like sleep.

Not much happened this weekend. I decided that I wanted to relax this weekend.
Well....for the most part anyways.

Saturday consisted of the wretched dentists office, homework, and helping mom move.

Seriously, no love for those mother truckers.
I know somebody's gotta do it but that doesn't make me have to like you.

Remember a while back how I had a piece of my tooth come off and had to get a filling for it.
That somehow turned into multiple fillings?
Well, the important one...the one where the piece of tooth came off..
They screwed it up.
There was a gap in the filling and I had food get caught in that bitch every.fucking.time I ate.
Talk about annoying.

And I couldn't get back in until this weekend to get it fixed.
more numbing shit injected into my face.
I actually enjoy the after effects of this part.
I may or may not have slapped myself in the face repeatedly laughing like a crazy person because I couldn't feel it and thought it was hysterical.
Who would do something like that, right?
Crazy people.

Sunday was a sleep until 10 kinda day.
It was raining outside and munchkin actually let me sleep in.
It was glorious.

Did a bit of cleaning and some more homework and that was that.

Now it's Monday...again

Friday, May 31, 2013

How Becca Got Her Groove Back

Or at least how she's trying to.
And by she I mean me.

I want to bring this here blog of mine back to life.
I know it's been a while but I had to go on hiatus.
I know it was unannounced and I'm sorry, but it had to be done.

Helping someone set up a new blog today made me realize how much I miss my little corner of the interwebz. Sooooo, I'm back!

Happy dance!!

I try to keep the mood around these parts pretty lighthearted and fun and there has just been too much going on lately for me to make sure that would have been the case.

Sooo yeah, a lot of crap has been going down but nothing I really want to expound too much upon so we shall start anew.
Sound good?
Too damn bad.

Moving on.

Munchkin has graduated from Pre-K

I cried.

E. left for work on the road.
 I'm sad

At their first race he managed to acquire this shirt

It's like a tux-tee....only it's overalls instead.
He loves it.

School is kicking my ass
But I only have 6 months left.

I'm ready to be done already

Munchkin got a new haircut

That means it's time for new funny faces
(just like her momma)

That's about it for this post. Here's to getting back into the swing of things and trying to get back to daily posts.

Notice the operative word there, "trying".

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

What you've missed

A heaping pile of...not much

I know I took a bit of a blogging break
I'm not sure that it's 100% over yet either
I've been in a bit of a funk lately
There's just been a lot going on
I know I keep this blog as an expressive outlet of sorts but I don't particularly feel like putting all of my woes out there for the interwebz to read.
I prefer to keep things around these parts light and fluffy
At least as much as possible.
Besides, I know that I have readers that I don't want knowing certain things.
Soooo, when I get into these types of situations it's better for me to just not blog.
So I've been in hiding

I'm still alive though.
I promise

In my absence Munchkin and I have attended multiple birthday parties and play dates
read: screaming children everywhere making me want to rip my hair out

Munchkin had an allergic reaction to a metric ass ton of ant bites.
The child decided that the middle of the ant pile was the best place to stand.
(i'm a bad blogger though and already deleted that picture)

I went on a best friend "date" with my bestie
There was a bachelorette party taking place next to us at the resturaunt
They were all WASTED
She decided that getting married hungover would be the most romantic thing she could ever do
Waking up hing over, feeling like ass, on her day off, and actually getting up out of bed to get poked and prodded and turned into a "real" girl all to stand in front of a bunch of people to say that she loves the guy.
That's true love
I told her that she should designate a splash zone
Like a seaworld
...only for vomit instead of water
So maybe I'm a little crass.
y'all love it

I had a small piece of my tooth break off
This resulted in my bank account being raped by the dentists office
Have I mentioned ever how much I hate dentists?
I loathe them.
They are painful
and expensive.
Nothing that hurts that much should cost as much as it does
ANNNND their ceiling was janky.
Stupid janky ceiling dentists office
I won't be going back there

I found this deformed phallic looking carrot

I helped a friend move into her second floor apartment.
Normally, no big deal
Only except I did it in the middle of a squat challenge
I'm pulling out 700 squats in a week
and I had stairs
My legs
They burn
Times woah

 Can they just fall off already?!

Oh, and I changed my background!
Whatcha think?
I love it!

That's all for today!
I'm going to try getting back into the swing of things around here

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Interwebz say whaaaaat?

I'm not really in much of a blogging mood today.
Wasn't yesterday either.
There's a lot going on around these parts.
My brain is at odds with itself again.
Though it's fairly typical for me, it's still profoundly annoying.


Here are some random internet finds for you.


Friday, April 5, 2013

I want...

If I lived in a world where I could be completely selfish, these are the things that I would want: have quiet time have alone time be near pretty water create get a new tattoo sleep uninterrupted for 12 hours have a batman movie marathon have a harry potter movie marathon have a lord of the rings movie marathon read listen to constant music get the snuggles with munchkin without the whining create not have to pay bills get paid for waking up and/or being awesome

Ok, so I know the last two are pretty far fetched, but wouldn't that be splendid.
And I know I said create twice, but I really want to create something.

What would you want?

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Throwback Thursday

I don't really have anything to write about today.
Well, unless you want to hear me bitch and complain.
Which, for some reason, I doubt.

Soooo, I'm jumping on the throwback Thursday train
I had to sign into myspace for this shit.
Are you ready for this?

Hey look at that, it's me around 3 years old
No, not the one with the cowboy hat
The one in red.

We took a (my only) trip to Idaho to visit my Uncle and his family
They apparently like the cold
I don't really remember this trip but apparently my parents had fun
something about a snowmobile
it didn't end well.

I'm not at home so my access to old pictures is limited so we're going to skip over several years here and jump to Sophmore year of High School.
Ugh, High School

 Apparently I thought I was artistic or some shit
Hey, let's shove a fan in front of my face
That'll look cool right?
Now I've GOT to post it on Myspace!

I joined colorguard that year.
I loved colorguard.
Kinda miss it actually
Is it pathetic that I still sometimes check up on my school's guard on youtube?

I'm pretty sure that this was Jr. year
We sat in front of the flutes
A lot of us offered to hold the music for the flute players when it came to songs they didn't have memorized.
I was a good little guardie
This also had to be early on in the season because my hair isn't done, I don't have crazy makeup, and I'm wearing my choker.
OOOOOOORRRRRR If it was jr. year it may be when I hurt my back really bad and could barely walk.
No, I still performed that time because it was closer to UIL and I remember almost collapsing after the performance because i was in so much pain.
I think I may have cussed a person or 3.
It may have been the 1st game. I had mono during summer band so I may not have had clearance yet to perform.
They had to threaten to not let me perform all season if I kept showing up to summer band while I had mono.
I was pissed.
I was a captain. I needed to be there.
Or it could just be that we didn't have our uniforms in yet.

I was also in theater and the summer before my senior year we went to London with some other high school theater groups from around the states.
We hung out mostly with the kids from Georgia.
circa 2006
I thought I was "fat"
Thought I'd look cool posing here
Wearing my corset and London jacket that I had bought the day before at the flea market
Maaaan, they tried to screw us so bad
Then we started using British accents
The difference in prices was AMAZING
The picture is crappy and pixelated. booo
Oh well
I don't really know what was going on here other than we were on a bus,
I think this was the day we went out to Oxford.
Apparently I thought I belonged in the movie The Ring
well, so long as you ignore the fact that I was wearing white and pigtails
Oh to be 17 again.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

So What Wednesday

Linking up with Shannon once again

So What Wednesday


...It took me waaaay to long to figure out how everyone gets the picture collages.
How the hell did I not know it was an app
There's an app for everything

...I had the coolest conversation ever in the history of ever with my best friend yesterday

And this  is why we're best friends...
I told you we're awesome!
This is the same friend that I had my rat/otter/ohshititsagiantsnake adventure with.

...I don't really have an iphone and I just used an iphone text message generator thing.
I don't know how to take screenshots on my droid
I can apparently only do it on accident when I don't want to
This was a real conversation, I promise. And yes, she really is "best friend" in my phone

...If I can't figure out what to refer to my boyfriend as on this here blog of mine.
Boyfriend just doesn't sound right.
He's in my phone as Robert E. Lee
ya know, the confederate general
My mom calls him Cotton.
Hmmmm, decisions decisions

...I'm mentally drawing up a business proposal that I'll never give about how Wal*Mart should have bars in them.
I'd like to thank Sarah from Silly Incantations for this thought process. It's given me lots of laughs throughout the day

...Because of that I spent my lunch break browsing instead of doing my homework
Here's a few lovely images for you
 Ok, seriously? What the, who in the hell,

 Oh chit! Someone call Billy Ray Cyrus, we've found where he can get his mullet back!

 "who wears short shorts"
Now all we need is for him to do the wiggle....'cuz he must work out

...That I don't know what to follow all of that up with.
Seriously, how can you top people of walmart...ever?
Simple, you can't.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

I'm a slacker

Apparently I have something against Monday's now.
I must be subconsciously boycotting them.

Then again, who really does like Monday's after all?
Eff you Monday!


This weekend was pretty splendid
this seems to be more and more commonplace these days
But this was a 3 day weekend for me
That means it was extra splendid.

Munchkin and the bother were both out of school
Mom had to work though
So that means Sissy to the rescue!
Watched the rugrats at mom's house for the day and made these

FINALLY figured out how to make the damn side by side pictures.
Since I had the kids for the day, mom kept munchkin for the night.
That means that I headed out to the country again.
Got to see my boiyfriend and some other friends
had a few (or more) drinks
Watched food get cooked but somehow never saw that it was done.
Ate a few bites that were sitting out
By this point though I had drank enough to where I didn't even realize that I hadn't eaten
No biggie.

Only it wasn't was Rum
I love Rum!
I should be a Pirate!
Arrrr Matey!

Ignore me. I've lost my mind.
Care to help me find it?
Didn't think so.

Once again....ANYWAYS

My boyfriend lost his phone somewhere between the property we were on and the neighbors property
I really need to talk to him about what to call him on here, this "my boyfriend" business just doesn't read right.
Brilliant, I know
He was actually pretty upset about it so I can't poke too much fun
What can I say, I like the guy a lottle
which is kind of like a little, only a lot

Stayed there since I had been drinking
Yay couch sleeping!
Woke up ass early after not going to bed until late as hell
I'm talking going to sleep around 4ish
Waking up at 5:30 because we were supposed to have breakfast down the road with another friend at 6
but Mr. I lost my phone said he wasn't going anywhere 'till he found it.
This means I got to sleep until the sun came up
This was sometime around 7 ish
Went out and I found his phone, face down in the grass not far from where he was going through the barb wire fence.

Then we headed down the road.
They have coffee there.
I don't function without coffee.
I feel like a zombie.
I barely even speak
which is very unusual for me

Hung out there for a few hours, played with the animals, ate breakfast, drank coffee, woke up
Standard stuff

Headed home (well, to mom's)
Watched the rugrats again while mom ran to the store for a few things
  Then took my happy self home

Sunday rolled around
Munchkin woke up before me and saw that the Easter bunny had come
She made sure to tell me that as soon as she woke me up.
So being the asshole loving parent that I am,
I made her lay down in bed for 30 more minutes before we went and dug around in it all
Cut me some slack people, she woke me up at 6:30 AM

It didn't take long before she realized that he had left eggs too.
So we did that and then went on with our normal Sunday morning routine
Then we went to the worst place on earth
also known as Wal*Mart
Headed back home and didn't leave!

We were supposed to go to mom's for lunch/dinner and another egg hunt
But that didn't happen. 
It was raining
And by the time it was all over and done with it was too close to bedtime on a school night.
I know, I know
I'm terrible
Who needs a schedule anyways.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

It's Ok...

Its Ok Thursdays

Linking up today with Amber for It's OK Thursday

IT'S OK....

-That I still haven't made the switch to bloglovin
Remember what I said about being a procrastinator

-That I made a fort in the middle of the living room for munchkin to watch Hop in...on a school night
We're excited about Easter
I'll have pictures another day

-That since watching Hop, the Easter Bunny has been visiting our house
I know this because he's been leaving behind a trail of jellybean bunny poop later

-That I told the munchkin that it was because he was scoping out places to put the Easter eggs come Sunday morning
That little bunny has a lot of ground to cover.
It pays to be prepared

-That I didn't think to use the whole "he's making sure you're being good" line
But munchkin sure thought of it.
Who knew that the Easter bunny could have the same effect as Santa

-That I'm supposed to work tomorrow but have off anyways
Thank you daycare for being closed

Happy Dance

 -That it's now time for me to promote a friend of mine.
I've got this friend who recently lost her job. She's a single mother and has been looking for a new one, but just can't seem to get one.
The job market sucks yo.
So in an attempt to make ends meet, she set it up so that she can sell Avon.
Today is her first day
I don't know if you wear make-up or not
I know I don't
but they sell more than just makeup.

You can get to her Avon website HERE

Here are the things that I ordered:

 Because the only thing I do really wear is eyeshadow and who doesn't need a good eyeshadow brush
This came in at a whole $2.99

 I ordered this eyeshadow pencil thing in blue.
I love, love, love bright vibrant eyeshadow

 There was a buy 2 Clearskin products for $7.99
So I bought 2.
The facewash blemish clearing stuff
and the 'let's pop your face' thing
I can't be the only one with the weird obsession with popping zits and blackheads and such.
 This set will be perfect on a "me" night.
I try to have at least one a month.
The whole set was $9.99
 Because as you can see, I'm not pale...I'm translucent
It's like the Jergens tanning lotion stuff
Just a different brand
I figured what could it hurt
 This is some sort of "wake up" stick
Or at least it's supposed to make you look like you're awake
It claims to make your eyes less puffy and look like you've gotten enough sleep
Well, since I usually only catch a few hours of Z's 
What could it hurt?

Plus it helps out my friend.
They have stuff for kids too
Please, if you could go check out her website
If your order is $30 or more you get free shipping straight to your house.