Thursday, May 22, 2014

The friendship rulebook

So there's this blog post crusing around facebook about how mom's need to stick together and have drama free friendships. But let's face it, just because you're a mom doesn't mean that all of your friends are moms. And those friendships are just as - if not more important to keep drama free.

Those are the friends that we as parents are able to live vicariously through. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my munchkin and wouldn't trade her for the world. But sometimes a woman just needs a break.

Some of the basic principals listed on the mom's keeping drama free apply to these freindships as well. Such as not being upset when one of you flakes out on something. Not getting our panties in a wad because we didn't call or text back. So on and so forth, you get the idea. By the way, if you're lost and have no idea what post I'm talking about, you can find it HERE.

These are my follow up thoughts on mom/non-mom friendships.

1) You won't get upset that I want to hear every.single.detail of all of your parties, vacations, outings, concerts, adventures, etc. because you know that doing those things with kids almost always results in screaming or various other unplesantness.

2) I won't get upset if you get annoyed by my iterregation questions about the events mentioned in #1.

3) You're always my date to go see kid movies with so that I have an adult that catches onto the humor Disney likes to sneak in.

4) You go to see kid movies with me so that it doesn't look strange that a grown woman wants to see Frozen for the third time with no kid in tow.

5) You won't get pissy when I can't go to your shindig because there will be booze and rowdy friends with no filters and I can't find a sitter.

6) I won't get pissy when you don't invite me to your shindigs because I know that you know that I will just say no anyways.

5) When you get tired of hearing about poop and chair throwing and little diva attitudes, you'll simply tell me rather than getting passive agressive.

6) We we go out to dinner you don't question my resturant choices becuase they have sandboxes. This just means we can have an adult conversation.

7) You don't judge me for letting my kid play in that nasty ass sandbox that has probably been peed in more times than I'd like to think about.

8) It is unspoken that if you play with my kid long enough for me to have 5 minutes of peace (or even just to pee without an audience) I will love you forever.

9) The same goes with you telling my kid to stop being a little shithead so that I don't have to.

10) When you need me and I show up with my kid in tow because I couldn't find a sitter on such short notice, you'll help me find movies to keep them entertained while we sort out whatever the issue it and not be upset about it. you'll just be happy I showed up.

11) You won't judge me for shoving my kid in front of the boobtube.

12) When we don't hang out for months because our lives are in completly different places we both know that it isn't because we don't love each other like sisters

13) When we finally do hang out it's like we never skipped a beat - yes, we're just that awesome

14) When you call me and I sound like I have tourettes because I keep yelling at my kid - you don't judge or get pissy. You either wait or offer to call back later.

15) When we go out and I'm tired and yawning at 10 PM, you gladly tell me to suck it up and order me a double vodka and redbull.

16) When I call you in the morning hungover and you laugh at me and call me a lightweight, I know it's in jest - we're it's what we do.

17) When you drunkenly call me at 2 AM I answer (assuming I hear my phone) and assume whatever role you need me to without cussing you out. Not many others get that.

18) When I sleep through my your call and can't help you with whatever crisis you're in, you don't leave me pissy voicemails about how i'm a shit friend. We both know that already. You just know that the whole parent thing is no stroll in the park.

19) I'm a shit friend. I let life get in the way. We both acknowledge and accept this.

20) You're a shit friend. You let life get in the way. We both acknowledge and accept this.

21) When you need me or I need you - we both show up no matter what. Because despite being shit friends and letting life get in the way, we're friends and that's what friends do.

It's not just mom's that need no drama/no bullshit's all friendships that need that. Because seriously, who needs that crap? Sure as hell not me. I just don't have time for it. Kids, no kids, it doesn't matter....just leave the bullshit at the door and go from there. If you can't, I'll gladly show you that door again. And don't worry, I'll make sure it hits you on the ass on the way out.

Thursday, January 2, 2014


Back again, but who knows for how long. Life is nothing more than a series of fleeting moments and as of late, I've chosen to be more present in those moments and just haven't had the time to reflect them here. I started this blog during a time that was highly stressful for me, and found that having this creative outlet allowed me to escape myself for those few moments. Now that said time has come and gone, I've found less and less need to post and read my favorite blogs. From time to time I will binge read my favorites for hours at a time catching up on the lives of those I began to feel close to simply by reading their blogs. Anyways, onto this new years thing.

You will not see any of the standard resolutions from me. No "I will lose weight", "I will stop drinking", "I will.....blah, blah, blah". While yes, those things would be nice, to me they are just things. and things are easy to throw to the wayside. I would rather my resolutions be more meaningful.

The following is a brief reflection I jotted down earlier and thought about my abandoned blog after.

2013 may not have been so kind to me, but I refuse to let 2014 bring me down. Then again, I think that all new years start with a similar proclamation. Ah, the year year - so fresh, so new, so full of opportunity and untainted possibility.

2013 has brought on a lot of self discovery for me. I would love to say that I will be perfect in this new year, but I have found in years past that imperfection is my perfection. I have learned to find beauty in my flaws and tend to lean more towards the silver lining. What can I say, I like shiny things. That and I’ve learned that there’s no use dwelling on the things that you cannot change. This past year has shown me that moreso than any other. There is no use letting something that does not better you in some way, shape, or form take residence in your mind. 
Moving forward I will continue in my endeavors to implement this into my daily life. 
I will only allow positive people into my life, I’ve no room for the negativity. 
I will attempt to become more organized - both in my day to day life as well as my thinking. I feel like lately I’ve allowed the organization to lapse in leiu of other things that I deemed more important at the time which I feel has led to unnecessary chaos both mentally and visually. 
I will strive to be a better mother, a better friend, and generally a better person. 

There is stregth in knowing your weaknesses and working to improve them. I guess what this is boiling down to is that I want to work on me this year. I want to become a better, more self aware me. Last year I worked on dealing with “things”....this year should finally be about me. And while yes, that may sound selfish, it is in the best way possible.

Friday, September 20, 2013

Please excuse the lack of cooth

I know that I haven't been around much. I've had a lot going on in my life and it's not been all rainbows, sunshine and sparkles coming out of my ass. That being said I tend to like to leave the negativity off of the interwebz. But today I need a place to vent and somewhere that I can say FUCK a few times without having to look over my shoulder for little ears first.

I am tired. So fucking tired of bullshit. Let me tell you, for the most part I stay the hell away from it all but when it decides to show it's ugly, smelly ass face, I feel like I need a damn bulldozer to shovel all of it away from me. 

I'm sick to death of people taking me for granted and eventually walking all over me. And please, save it because I'm well aware that it's my own damn fault for letting it happen but it's just part of my nature. I give, and give, and give until there's nothing left to give anymore. I ensure the happiness of others before ensuring my own. Fuck a bunch of that shit! It's draining. I'm ready to focus on me and my happiness and my betterment. Everyone else can just go shove it up their ass. True story. (Made it up myself and everything)

That being said, I'm having a fucking baking fest this weekend. A full on bake myself into a coma bonanza. If you know me, you know that baking is relaxing and soothing to me. So it's on like motha' fuckin' donkey kong! 

I will be making banana nut bread, honey pumpkin bread, chocolate chip cookies, gingerbread cookies, chocolate chai cupcakes, and smores cupcakes. Maybe more. I'm not sure at this point. I might even cook some stuff too. And chances are I will find myself cleaning my house. 

Why is it that when I get pissed off or stressed out, I turn into fucking martha stewart/betty crocker/some random crazy lady.

I think I'm going to go with crazy lady.

If you're still reading....sorry you had to read all of that crap. Because I know that's what it is...crap.
But if you made it through, you're a trooper.
Sometimes a girl just needs a place to vent.

Happy FUCKING Friday.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Life according to a 4 year old

the moon is made of "green cheese" that makes it glow
helicopters have water skis on them to help them swim
People are able to live in China and work in Disneyworld. They travel back and forth by plane every day.
God is invisible and lives in our hearts (but she wants him to not be invisible because she wants to give him a hug)
Easter bunnies are like Santa in that they watch to see if you're good or bad.
Love means hugs and kisses 
You wear swim-soups in the pool
If it's raining you have to have an "underbrella"

Song lyrics and responses:

"dancing in the dark"
You can't dance in the dark mommy, that's silly. You can't see if it's dark.

"I'm pretty good at drinking beer"
hahaha, he's good at drinking root beer. I like root's a grown up drink. Can I have some root beer tonight?

That kid makes me laugh


Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Allergies can suck it

Ever feel like your nose is a faucet?
Like your head is going to explode from built up pressure?
Have you had so much fluid in your head that your ears pop every time you swallow?

Then you may want to tell mother nature to go eff herself.

I know all of the above are true for me.
My allergies are in full force right now and just a few days ago I felt like I couldn't breathe.
So now I'm on a benadryl and zertec regimen for the now
This of course means that at night, I'm passed the hell out

buuuttt that also means that in the morning I stay in a crazy benadyl haze.
Coffee doesn't even seem to make a difference.

Then again it probably doesn't help that last night's bed time was around 11 PM
Or that Munchkin woke me up at 2:45 this morning because she had an "accident"
Thank goodness for those goodnites bed pad things

I made her clean herself up and help change the sheets though.
I'm thinking that maybe if I make her help with the clean-up process that she'll realize how much more of a pain in the ass it is than just getting out of bed and going to the bathroom.

Now to wake the rest of the way up and go on about my day.

To much to do and not awake enough to care about more gifs or pictures or anything really.
Sorry...kind of.

Happy Tuesday :)

Monday, June 3, 2013

Weekends say whaaaat?!

Sami's Shenanigans

I came back on a Friday and then POOF! Vanished for the weekend.
No worries, I'm not going anywhere. Y'all know I'm a Monday-Friday blogger. 
I need my weekends for things
Like sleep.

Not much happened this weekend. I decided that I wanted to relax this weekend.
Well....for the most part anyways.

Saturday consisted of the wretched dentists office, homework, and helping mom move.

Seriously, no love for those mother truckers.
I know somebody's gotta do it but that doesn't make me have to like you.

Remember a while back how I had a piece of my tooth come off and had to get a filling for it.
That somehow turned into multiple fillings?
Well, the important one...the one where the piece of tooth came off..
They screwed it up.
There was a gap in the filling and I had food get caught in that bitch every.fucking.time I ate.
Talk about annoying.

And I couldn't get back in until this weekend to get it fixed.
more numbing shit injected into my face.
I actually enjoy the after effects of this part.
I may or may not have slapped myself in the face repeatedly laughing like a crazy person because I couldn't feel it and thought it was hysterical.
Who would do something like that, right?
Crazy people.

Sunday was a sleep until 10 kinda day.
It was raining outside and munchkin actually let me sleep in.
It was glorious.

Did a bit of cleaning and some more homework and that was that.

Now it's Monday...again

Friday, May 31, 2013

How Becca Got Her Groove Back

Or at least how she's trying to.
And by she I mean me.

I want to bring this here blog of mine back to life.
I know it's been a while but I had to go on hiatus.
I know it was unannounced and I'm sorry, but it had to be done.

Helping someone set up a new blog today made me realize how much I miss my little corner of the interwebz. Sooooo, I'm back!

Happy dance!!

I try to keep the mood around these parts pretty lighthearted and fun and there has just been too much going on lately for me to make sure that would have been the case.

Sooo yeah, a lot of crap has been going down but nothing I really want to expound too much upon so we shall start anew.
Sound good?
Too damn bad.

Moving on.

Munchkin has graduated from Pre-K

I cried.

E. left for work on the road.
 I'm sad

At their first race he managed to acquire this shirt

It's like a tux-tee....only it's overalls instead.
He loves it.

School is kicking my ass
But I only have 6 months left.

I'm ready to be done already

Munchkin got a new haircut

That means it's time for new funny faces
(just like her momma)

That's about it for this post. Here's to getting back into the swing of things and trying to get back to daily posts.

Notice the operative word there, "trying".