Thursday, December 27, 2012

Bachelorette party fun

So I know that I still need to get a Christmas update going but I'm not so sure I want to combine it with the bachelorette party. However, I did manage to stay drunk for the majority of my 4 day weekend.

Saturday was a mad dash to the finish before the party. My best friend was working so I had to run the last minute errands while texting her like crazy. Trip to walmart for the last few things for the gift bags and some stockings and a headband for her. Who doesn't love buying condoms with your 4 year old in tow. Plus I needed tampons. I got a lot of "what is that mommie?" and "what are those for?" from the munchkin.  The checkout lady looked at me like I was some sort of crazy person. I know that the condoms were for the gift bags but so what if I wanted to get some during shark week? At least I would've been safe about it. Spend 20 minutes with my kid alone and you'll suddenly understand the importance of safe sex and birth control.

Then headed to walgreens for the last few colors of nail polish. Each bag had one of these glasses:
So we obviously had a superhero theme. That means that every bag has to have matching nail polish right? right. So everyone got 3 colors of correlating nail polish. :) While Walmart had lots of the what is this questions, Walgreens had a lot of the "can I have this?" "LOOK!!! I love this!" "Can Santa bring me these" type questions.

Then I had to run to my mom's house for a couple of things. H didn't want to leave. She'd rather play with the brother. I had to pry her away kicking and screaming. Ok, so maybe just crying a bit. Same difference right? no? okay.

By the time I got home from all of that I was ready to rip my hair out. H was tired and needed a nap, but instead my other bestie came over with her 3 rugrats and her manchild so that they could get their Christmas presents. I told them to leave the two oldest to play with H so that they could finish their shopping and so that the kids could entertain themselves while I cleaned out and vacuumed my car since I was supposed to be driving.

Kids left and off I went to pick up the best friend from work to haul ass and decorate her house in the hour we had before people were supposed to show up. I finished putting the bags together

 Best Friend wrote everyone's name on the backs of their bags
 Yay stencils :)
Yay stuff!!! (minus the glass and the nail kit thingy)

We threw ribbon onto the ceiling to make it look like an "enchanted forest" circus tent type thing. (Enchanted forest is the wedding theme) so lots of pretty greens and a metric ass ton of glitter. Best friend make the bar area look amazing by draping black ribbon around it and topping it off with a bow. It was gorgeous! Buuuut, we forgot to take pictures....and by the time we got back it had all fallen down.

But we still had this guy to look at :)
(pin the junk on the hunk see that cactus penis? OUCH!)

The bride was running late, we were running late, it was terrible. They made it to the restaurant on time, we did not. I don't know anyone else that can be late to the party that they threw. Sheesh. Dinner was amazing, best friend ended up with a drink that came with a capri sun! Hell yes for feeling like a 5 year old.

Then we went to a karaoke bar where we made fools of ourselves. Lots of drinks were had so there were not so many pictures taken...probably for the best. It's probably best we not discuss the Spice Girls song that we all sang together either. 

The bride was calling all the shots and I was told that I had to sing this.

Thankfully we left before they called me. Phew.

Went back to best friend's house for the slumber party part. Ate pizza rolls, played with paper penises, best friend may or may not have attached the cactus one to her pants to dance around the house'll never know. Popped popcorn, ate candy, and watched about 45 minutes of magic mike before going to bed.

Woke up, had mimosas and fruit for breakfast. Because we're badasses and that's just how we roll...or something like that.

Got a call during mimosa time informing me that a family friend had passed away due to a heart attack....Mimosas were upgraded to screwdrivers. 

Then home to recover before Christmas shenanigans.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Holy Recovery Batman

I don't think I've got it in me to pull together a real post today. I'm still trying to recover from yesterday.

I hope everyone had a great holiday!

Go check out (and join) this Diet bet that Desirae from Going with the Flow is hosting!


The pot is up to $180 now! Crazy talk!

You tell them to take your money, then you commit to losing 4% of your body weight in 28 days. Everyone that joins throws their money ($10) into the pot and whoever meets the 4% goal either wins or splits (if there's more than one) the pot. Getting paid to lose weight? Hells to the yes!

You can read more about the specifics here.

Friday, December 21, 2012

Let's get crafty

If it really would've been the apocalypse I would've gone out happy. I think the whole "end of the world" thing is a bunch of crap as it is, but if it wasn't...last night was fun.

Went over to my best friend's house to make the wine glasses for the bachelorette party tomorrow night. There was glitter EVERYWHERE! I'm terrible and didn't take any before or during pictures...but here are the finished products.

Best friend glasses for best friends!
(She's as obsessed with superman -if not moreso- as I am with Batman)

Ours and the bride's
(She's equally obsessed with Spiderman)

Finished products!
The X is for Storm from X-Men and the picture is a bad example but it's all purple and silver kind of swirled together. Best friend for that awesomeness
The cat mask is for catwoman.

Best Friend gets the credit for drawing all of the logos because she's awesome and I couldn't draw a stick figure if my life depended on it.

We had a metric ass ton of fun making these and making a giant mess. 

We may or may not have had vodka, chocolate, and garlic toast for dinner. 
(note the red solo cups in the above pictures)

And that may or may not have consisted of more vodka than chocolate or toast.

And now onto some unrelated adorable pictures from last weekend.

We were waiting to get our oil changed last weekend. She was coloring and watching TV. I swear this kid thinks that she's about 12.

Her and her friends watching the latest tinkerbell movie. The baby just decided that he wanted to hang out too! Too cute for words.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Only 5 days left?!

I didn't really realize until yesterday how close Christmas really is. I checked the work calendar to see what we had going on next week when it hit me.

I damn near shit myself.

SERIOUSLY?! Only 5 days?!

Thankfully I've got all of my shopping done, but I still have to finish wrapping that shit.

Does anyone else want to just say "fuck it!" and throw all that crap under the tree unwrapped once the kids are asleep on Christmas Eve?

No? Just me? Figures.

On a completely unrelated side note; I saw this and loved it so I thought I should share

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Useless fact Wednesday

  • In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined. (having been through a few hurricanes, this does not surprise me)
  •  The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.  
  • The electric chair was invented by a dentist (aaannnd now I'm afraid of the dentist)
  • In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.  (Holy owwwww!!! Can you imagine?!)
  •  Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day (Makes me never want to eat pizza again...who am I kidding, I can't give up pizza)
  • The cigarette lighter was invented before the match  (how the...?)
  • A snail can sleep for three years.  (Yet I can't sleep uninterrupted for 8 hours?! How is this fair?!)
  • An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain (Sounds like some people that I know)
  • A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (I don't know about you, but I'm hoping to be a pig in my next life)
  • A cat's urine glows under a black light  (who the hell decided it would be a good idea to test this theory. Seriously, how high were they?)

Now you know 10 new, useless facts. Go impress some people with your new found knowledge and awesomeness! 

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Sometimes cancer isn't ALL bad

So those of you that actually read this hot mess of a blog know that I like to (attempt to) raise awareness for good causes. In October I wrote about Domestic Violence and the importance of Donating Blood.

Last week I had someone email me asking to guest post and she has an amazing story about her journey with Mesothelioma. So without fail; here's Heather.

Cancer Brought about Something Good.
It’s a saying that everybody has heard, but lots of people don’t truly understand what it means. I can say from personal experience, that it truly It does take a village to raise a child. My husband and I learned that firsthand after our daughter was born on August 4, 2005. For the first few months of her life, our home was full of friends and family all so eager to help with her. We loved it. We loved Lily, and we thought life was great. I soon went back to work full-time and began noticing that something was wrong. Maybe other moms would have attributed it to new mom symptoms, because I was tired and fatigued and I had no energy. However, I was also breathless and just feeling bad.

I learned that as a child, I was exposed to asbestos. That made sense when my doctor diagnosed me with malignant pleural mesothelioma. He said that I’d have 15 months to live if I did not get treatment. Looking at my little family, I knew that wasn’t an option. As any mother would, I knew I’d do whatever it took to stay alive for my family; and that’s exactly what I did.

I sent my daughter to live in South Dakota with my parents. I went to Boston to have a popular mesothelioma surgery by the best mesothelioma doctor around. I had my left lung removed and I lived in the hospital for 18 days after that. I spent another two months recovering and then I started chemotherapy and radiation. While I was in Boston, I made some amazing friends. They were people who were there for the exact same reasons that I was. We connected on such an indescribable level. They understood what I was going through and I understood them. They made the days easier for me. They were part of my “village” that got me through everything.

I missed Lily so much, but she was in good hands. I was amazed at the number of people who stepped forward to help my parents care for Lily. They both worked full time and needed someone to care for her during the day while they were at work. Old friends, our church friends, and even kids I once babysat for, who were now grown up, offered to help. I still missed all the new things Lily did while I was away from her. Even with the pictures my mom sent that my husband printed, it was so difficult to be away from her and miss her so much. I knew in my heart though, that I was doing the right thing so that I could be there with her for many more years.

However, I learned a lot from this experience. First and foremost, I learned that with all the bad in any situation still comes something good. In our case, it was the fact that we realized how many people are in our “village” and how much support we have from so many people! Most importantly, it’s that that we now recognize just how precious life is, and we are grateful for that. 

 You can read more about Heather and her journey here on her blog. 

Here are a few extra facts and statistics about mesothelioma (because I can't live without facts and stats)
  • The main risk factor for mesothelioma is working with asbestos.
  • Around 14 to 30 people out of every million will be affected by mesothelioma each year
  • More than 2,000 new cases of mesothelioma are diagnosed each yea
  • Males are four times more likely to be diagnosed with mesothelioma than females.
  • The number of mesothelioma deaths has increased from 153 in 1968 to 2 347 in 2010. Over 80% of deaths were among men mainly due to asbestos exposures in the workplace.
 Sources: 1 & 2

Monday, December 17, 2012

Seriously? Again with this Moday crap?!

I wish it could just be the weekend all the time. Or since I know that will never happen, perhaps I just wish to not be so busy on the weekends. I like having a day of not doing anything in particular. No plans, no time constraints, none of that mess. Instead, I am just left with the feeling of needing a weekend to recover from my weekend.

I had to attend this hellish awesome bridal shower yesterday. Ok, so it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I just don't do well around large groups of women. It's a good thing I love the bride. The hostess actually asked that everyone attending give $20 towards the party to help with the food, supplies, etc. And she had it at her mother's house. What the crap is that?! She threw a mini shit fit (not recognizable as a shit fit by most, but by those that know her....yup...shit fit for sure) when I asked if myself and another bridesmaid could forgo that cost since the two of us are putting together the bachelorette party (without asking for money mind you).  To make a long story short, we ended up both forking over $20 just to not deal with the bullcrap that would ensue had we not.  All to play dumb games, sit awkwardly.

BUUUUUTTT, the bachelorette party is this weekend! Woot! The bride is pregnant so there won't be any getting absolutely shit-hammered, but we've got a lot of fun plans.

Had a movie night Saturday night with one of my besties. She came over with her gaggle of children, we banished the girls to H's room, and watched Step-up Revolution. (that's the name right? The most recent one? Yes? No? Whatever)

There were some other tedious goings on but nothing worth noting.

Friday, December 14, 2012


Damnit Friday, where have you been? It's been a whole week since I last heard from you. We can't keep this up, we really need to see each other more often. I don't know how much I can take of this, it's like you get to call all the shots in this relationship.

Well, since it is Friday, I'll leave you with a few things that make me laugh.

And this is why men don't do pin ups.

If I saw this man on the streets I would give him money no questions asked. BAM! Here, take my money. I would also probably ask him to show me some Karate moves for good measure. +12 for creativity

And this is why I don't drink that crap. I mean seriously...add some blonde hair and boobs to that guy and it's me in that street. That shit is DANGEROUS. 
PSA: Drink Responsibly; Don't Drink Jager

I want soooo badly to do something like this to H when she's a teenage. I'm going to have so much fun messing with her. Is that bad? I don't think so. I put up with her crap now so she can put up with my crap later. It'll be great.

 Sounds about right to me.

And lastly,

Because of my allergies, I had decided to take a Benadryl last night in hopes of being able to breathe by the time I woke up. Well, H woke up in the middle of the night (maybe 12:30 or so) and came into my room asking to sleep with me because she had a bad dream. Of course kid, come on in. Because a Queen size bed is big enough for me and a 4 year old right? WRONG. If you think that it is, you've never had kids. I ended up with both of her feet in my face because in her sleep she decided that she should lay sideways in the bed. Because who doesn't do that? Only weirdos sleep the right way. Sheesh. So half asleep I just moved her feet off of my face and onto my back. Why didn't I just move her? No idea; I blame the meds. Finally, around 3 AM I wake up enough to realize that I've been kicked in the ribs enough. Seriously, I thought for sure I'd be bruised this morning. SO I pick her feet up and move them to position her like a normal human being. By the time my alarms were going off this morning I had feet in my face again and was all the way at the edge of the bed. My neck and sides are sore now. Damn little feet.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

As promised...COOKIES!!!!

Womp womp womp...Thursday is a damn tease. It's all hey look it's almost Friday, but not quite. Fooled ya!

So you know all of those cookies I've been talking about? The first three trays of them went out today! Yay!!! Only I don't know how many more. But I promised pictures so here you go!

 Awww, aren't the snowmen so cute!

 The table at my mom's house with just a few of the cookies out

 The tray I brought to work today :)

 Wreaths! (And a Snowflake in the corner)

 Not a cookie, but what helped me get through the long nights baking. They also have a Red blend which is amazing and a Rose blend that I want to try!

I think I'll just leave it at that today before my sleep deprived delusions creep their way in here.

Happy Thursday!

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

So What Wednesday

So what if I'm running off of about 4 hours of sleep....for the third night in a row.

So what if I keep laughing at (seemingly) nothing like a crazy person

So what if I've enough cookies in my freezer to feed a small child nothing but cookies for a month straight

So what if I stood staring at the brass quartet this morning while people looked at me like an alien for not attacking the food instead

So what if I could give two shits less about the whole 12/12/12 thing

So what if I was tempted to drain my bank account in Barnes and Noble this weekend 

So what if I cuss that damn Elf on the Shelf every night once H is in bed. (the damn thing gets annoying after about 4 days...I have ZERO patience)

So what if I'm only doing this So What Wednesday because I'm too tired to think up an actual post

And so what if I'm imagining falling asleep at my desk right now.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012


I've been so lost in the world of baking that I feel like I might as well have taken a head first dive into the marshmellow man. Seriously. What the actual fuck?! Sunday I made just over 12 DOZEN cookies, 9 DOZEN pieces of candy, and a pan of brownies. ...all in about an eight hour time span. (shoot me now) Then, last night I got home and made ANOTHER 9 dozen truffles. Tonight I get to make another 2 dozen cookies and then tomorrow begins the decorating. I don't even want to know how many my mom is up to because she's been working on it all more than I have. The thought scares me inside.

But it just isn't the holidays if you don't get jaw jacked by the smell of cookies as soon as you walk into my house. (same goes for my mom's) Seriously though, its like you get punched in the jaw, wrestled to the ground, put in a submission hold, and forced to tap out. My house still smells like brown sugar and chocolate. 

I didn't take as many photos as I should have...but here are the few that i got. (they were from the first hour or two) 

Saturday H and I went and met up with one of my most amazing of friends (then again, I only hang out with amazing people so I guess they're all amazing) who just so happens to be an AWESOME photographer. You can see some of her work here. She took our Christmas pictures for us and they were soooo good. I love them! Already have the Christmas cards in the mail and everything. I'll have some up tomorrow for your viewing pleasure because my kid is aDORable . Sooo, maybe I'm a little biased...but even if I wasn't she's still frigging cute as hell. I have to wait for them to get watermarked before posting them all over the interwebz though so you'll just have to wait.

Desirae from Going with the Flow is hosting a DietBet. It's a pretty nifty concept. You tell them to take your money, then you commit to losing 4% of your body weight in 28 days. Everyone that joins throws their money into the pot and whoever meets the 4% goal either wins or splits (if there's more than one) the pot.

I want to join in but I'm waiting on an email back from them. The rules say that you have to submit two pictures every week, One of the numbers on the scale and another immediately after that is a full body shot of you standing on the scale. Welp, unless I want to trust my 4 year old to take a picture of me, I'm not sure how to accomplish that last part. I don't have a full length mirror so I'm trying to see if they will let me take a picture from above. You know, pretending like I'm an antenna or some shit. Arm straight up in the air trying to angle the camera to where you can see me and the scale all in the same picture.

Here's the button to take you to the bet she's hosting. It's a $10 buy in, starts on 01/02/12, and is currently at $40. You should join it. Who wouldn't want to get paid to lose weight?

If you don't already read Desirae's blog, you should. Don't question it...just do it. Go I've linked her blog and everything. Go...

Social dieting...I wish I could've been the genius that thought of this.

Friday, December 7, 2012

It's the freakin' weekend!

Ok, so maybe not quite yet...but soon enough right? Right.

We have our Holiday lunch today at work which means our boss takes us out to this fancy schmancy restaurant where we get to enjoy amazing food and wine. Hells to the yes!

Tonight will consist of shopping for bachelorette party stuff. (Zone D here we come!) Then perhaps a glass of vodka with one of my besties.

Tomorrow commences the beginning of the baking madness. Prep has been underway for a while now but tomorrow and Sunday...yup, you might as well just hand me a straight jacket and point me towards a padded room now. By Monday I'm going to be questioning my logic like I do every year after Christmas baking.

Last night I decided, hey tonight seems like the perfect night to lose my mind go Christmas shopping. There were sooo many people, and sooo many children, and sooo many useless things. By the time I was done I think I was slightly delirious. There were only 4 of the bike she wanted left and I almost didn't find those last four. Sheesh...same with the damn easy bake oven. Oh yeah, don't let me forget I noticed this morning that the check out charged me for 2 of those when I only bought one. Now to see if I can manage to throw enough of a fit to get that $40 back. But on the plus side, I've only 3 presents left to buy and two of them can be bought online. I will not go into a store other than a grocery store until after Christmas is over. I am done with that mess. Now I just have to wrap it all....crap.

Wrapping presents at my house



Thursday, December 6, 2012

My morning mixed with some pinned it and did it

Welp, I did it. I managed to wake my (not so) happy ass up with enough time to work out this morning. Barely. But I did. I wanted to wake up at 5:30....5:50 is the same thing right? We can play pretend. I did 30 DS this morning but I can't say I did well. I was half asleep the whole time and I know that I didn't give it everything I could have. My form sucked for at least half of it and I kept having these ginormous yawns mid everything. Please someone tell me that morning workouts get easier! Please.

Then I went to Starbucks and got a bold coffee...but I cheated the system. I took some peppermint mocha creamer with me so that I didn't have to pay $5+ for a cup of peppermint mocha coffee. I got the giant cup for $2 and some change, added in my creamer and even a smidgen of protein powder to kick start my day. I love my coffee...I don't function without it. H even knows better than to screw with me before my morning cup.

Now onto the Pinned it and did it portion:

Several months ago I pinned this
Origin of pin can be found here.
You can find other pins I've tried here.

It's baked sweet and sour chicken with fried rice. The pinner before me said that it was addicting, mouthwatering, and that they would be making it again within the same week. Talk about a rave review. I'm not a huge sweet and sour chicken fan so I just kind of rolled my eyes and thought suuuure, it's amazing, riiiigggght. But I pinned it anyways because...well, why not?

I finally got around to making it (forgot to take pictures...silly me) and let me tell you, it was friggin amazing. I'm talking I wanted to make more right then and there. I'm not even a big sweet and sour chicken fan and I loved it. I will be making this again and again and again.

In case you're too lazy to click the clickable links, here is the recipe:
I didn't make the fried rice, so I didn't include that'll have to click they clicky thing for that.

Baked Sweet and Sour Chicken
The chicken coating:
3-4 boneless chicken breasts
salt + pepper
1 cup cornstarch
2 eggs, beaten
1/4 cup canola oil
The sweet and sour sauce:
3/4 cup sugar
4 tbs ketchup
1/2 cup distilled white vinegar
1 tbs soy sauce
1 tsp garlic salt
Start by preheating your oven to 325 degrees. 
Rinse chicken breasts in water, then cut into cubes. 
Season with salt and pepper to taste. 
Dip chicken into the cornstarch to coat then dip into the eggs.  
Heat 1/4 cup oil in a large skillet and cook your chicken until browned but not cooked through. 
Place chicken in a greased baking dish. 
Mix all of your sweet and sour sauce ingredients in a bowl with a whisk 
Pour evenly over the chicken. 
Bake for one hour turning the chicken every 15 minutes.   
Now send your taste buds into taste bud heaven and thank me later :)

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Wait, you mean I have a blog?

Yikes! I'm still alive I swear. I thought I was back for good before but holy moly have I neglected this thing. I haven't even been reading my favorite blogs let alone writing for mine.

School wants to eat me alive, the holidays make my bank account cry, and I'm going to be a bridesmaid at the end of the month so now there's that.

The silver linings...I've only 8.5 classes left which comes out to just over a year left before I graduate. I'm going to get to enjoy H and the brother opening their presents, and when shopping for a bridesmaid dress I discovered that I can fit into a size 14. Now, I wouldn't exactly wear it out in public...but it fit! Zipped up and everything. That was pretty exciting for me especially considering that I haven't been working out at ALL. I'm just now starting to get back into the swing of things. I had some major work to do on my time allocations with school starting again.

Speaking of the whole not working out thing....I've been telling myself that I'm going to wake up early to get my workout done in the morning. I guess I keep forgetting how much of a morning person I'm not. I've set up a workout calendar for myself but because I have been relying on doing it in the morning I haven't gotten most of it done. I'm running every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday; trying to do 30 DS again, and doing a pushup challenge.

Did you notice me saying that I'm trying to do 30 DS again. Yeaaaah, that's because I still haven't gotten started. I keep chickening out. JM scares me a I don't like her. I mean, she's great and all but her voice makes me want to claw at my ears until they are bleeding profusely. I can't take her and those damn skinny minnie flunkies of hers. I will get all 30 workouts done in 30 days..I'll just have to double up on the weekends.

Christmas is here! I feel so behind. Everyone is all "look at me, I've got the tree up and decorated, our lights are up, the house is festive..blah, blah, friggin blah!" While in my house the only thing I've done is break out the elf on the shelf. She showed back up on the second. See, I was even late on that! I figure I'll show off some of her fun hiding places for you to steal if you so wish.

 Era made her debut by bringing snow with her! (It make look like flour...but it's snow...I swear)

 Then she made a new friend with the giant lizard.

Uh-Oh! Era must've heard H having a hard time going to bed. Now she's hanging from the attic cord right outside H's bedroom door.

I didn't get one of today's yet since I almost forgot to move her. Oops. 

We did make a Gingerbread house this past weekend though!