Thursday, January 2, 2014

New Year...new...something.

Back again, but who knows for how long. Life is nothing more than a series of fleeting moments and as of late, I've chosen to be more present in those moments and just haven't had the time to reflect them here. I started this blog during a time that was highly stressful for me, and found that having this creative outlet allowed me to escape myself for those few moments. Now that said time has come and gone, I've found less and less need to post and read my favorite blogs. From time to time I will binge read my favorites for hours at a time catching up on the lives of those I began to feel close to simply by reading their blogs. Anyways, onto this new years thing.

You will not see any of the standard resolutions from me. No "I will lose weight", "I will stop drinking", "I will.....blah, blah, blah". While yes, those things would be nice, to me they are just things. and things are easy to throw to the wayside. I would rather my resolutions be more meaningful.

The following is a brief reflection I jotted down earlier and thought about my abandoned blog after.

2013 may not have been so kind to me, but I refuse to let 2014 bring me down. Then again, I think that all new years start with a similar proclamation. Ah, the year year - so fresh, so new, so full of opportunity and untainted possibility.

2013 has brought on a lot of self discovery for me. I would love to say that I will be perfect in this new year, but I have found in years past that imperfection is my perfection. I have learned to find beauty in my flaws and tend to lean more towards the silver lining. What can I say, I like shiny things. That and I’ve learned that there’s no use dwelling on the things that you cannot change. This past year has shown me that moreso than any other. There is no use letting something that does not better you in some way, shape, or form take residence in your mind. 
 
Moving forward I will continue in my endeavors to implement this into my daily life. 
I will only allow positive people into my life, I’ve no room for the negativity. 
I will attempt to become more organized - both in my day to day life as well as my thinking. I feel like lately I’ve allowed the organization to lapse in leiu of other things that I deemed more important at the time which I feel has led to unnecessary chaos both mentally and visually. 
I will strive to be a better mother, a better friend, and generally a better person. 

There is stregth in knowing your weaknesses and working to improve them. I guess what this is boiling down to is that I want to work on me this year. I want to become a better, more self aware me. Last year I worked on dealing with “things”....this year should finally be about me. And while yes, that may sound selfish, it is in the best way possible.