Monday, January 7, 2013

Back to your regularly scheduled programming

I know I've been through a lot of different templates/backgrounds lately...What can I say, I'm to broke to afford a custom one finicky

Now that I've left you sufficiently scarred, we can move on.

Nothing much has really been going on around here lately. Unless you count my gma's toilet getting backed up and my house smelling like shit...literally. And since it's been cold, she had the heater on too.

Buuuut, it's fixed now. Woot!

Moving on to a less shitty subject.

This morning I had the simultaneously best and stupidest idea any half asleep person could have. At least this half asleep person anyways. My first alarm (I have multiple set because I just don't do mornings) went off and I was COLD. I didn't want to move. My brain said fuck this shit, we need to hibernate!

And then it happened...the hazy lightbulb went off. It was kind of flickering like they do when they are about to go out since my brain was working on less than half power...but it turned on anyways.

I remembered that I still had my heating pad plugged in from a few nights ago when my back felt like it was going to snap in half. Okay, so maybe that's an exaggeration...maybe. But it hurt...I digress. I grabbed that sucker and turned it on the highest of the 4 settings. GET HOT MOTHAFUCKA! and it did. And it was glorious!!!

Then the reality of what I had just done kicked in. First I realized that as much as I didn't want to move before, now it would take a 6'5, 300+ pound man with a crowbar to pry me out of my bed because now I was all nice and warm and cozy. Glorious I'm telling you, absolutely fan-fucking-tabulous.

Then an even bigger "oh shit" moment set it. What have I done?! Now when I do finally escape the cocoon that I have created, I'm going to be colder than a witch's tit in a brass Montana. Holy fuck my life, how could I be so stupid.

By the time I finally forced myself out of bed, I just wrapped myself up in a blanket while I went to wake up H. She didn't want to get up either. Claimed she was too tired. Well kid, hate to break it to you but that's what happens when you wake up at 4 AM and take 20 minutes to pee. Yup...that happened. 

She came into my room reeking of urine to climb halfway into my bed to half cry/half tell me that she had to pee. Well then go! by all means! Change your pull up while you're at it. 

We're trying to phase out of pull ups at bedtime so she is currently wearing panties under them yet she hasn't quite grasped that there's a method to my madness when I say no drinks after 7 PM. crazy kid.


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