Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Not a morning person

We've all seen them, those people that wake up and are just instantly up. The ones that are happy and chipper and quite frankly annoying at 5 AM...yeah, I'm not one of them. I love my coffee dearly. I need it to survive. If you want this brain to function, you better have a cup of joe in that hand of yours.

This morning was no exception. I woke up late, which meant no time to make coffee, no time to stop for coffee, no coffee until I got into the office. Well hell. *Insert the beginning of a decaffeinated, shitty mood*. I go about getting ready and here comes an unexpected turn of events. Apparently my at home hair brush got lonely and decided to go visit my at work hair brush for a sleep over. Yup, you got that right, I took my at home brush to work and left it there.

Awesome. So now we're looking at half asleep, running late, no coffee, and no hairbrush.

I got this. I throw my hair up in a messy looped over ponytail-esque type thing. And when I say it was messy, had it been spring, I would've had birds trying to build nests. Thought I would use my in the car hair brush (which also just so happened to be MIA this morning). Got H up and ready for school, got her there, made her apologize for taking home a school blanket the night before and headed to the park and ride. Yes, this girl takes the Metro. You would too if you had to face inbound 290 traffic at 7 AM....TRUST ME.

So I get on the bus, put in my headphones, grab my nook, and put my purse in the seat next to me. Lets get this bus ride on the road people. I do this when I'm in a crabby mood and 9 times out of 10 it works and people leave me the eff alone. If the bus starts to get full, I suck it up, move my purse and go on with the day. Not this morning though. There are still PLENTY of seats, as in almost half, available on this bus, and this smiling, fully awake, looks like she could just bust into song about sunshine and rainbows and happiness, morning person taps me on the shoulder to ask to sit next to me.

Are you SERIOUS?!

My mother raised me right so I of course obliged by moving my purse, and continued my reading. The bus gets under way and I think that's all I'm going to hear from Mrs. Morning Person. Think is the operative word here. Mind you, me with no coffee, trying to think never turns out well. Then again, I feel like most days me trying to think period doesn't end up. Anyways, I'm enjoying my book when I feel yet another tap on my shoulder.

Let me tell you, it took everything in my power not to bite this ladies head off! I guess brains just don't sound like an appealing breakfast. Perhaps with coffee? She wanted to ask me questions about my nook because her daughter wants one. I begrudgingly answer all of her questions and start to put my headphones back in. NOPE, wrong answer! She's not done. She wants to talk, no not talk, chit chat. Through all of this mind numbing chit chat, I discover that she needs some help navigating the metro system and finding a particular building downtown. Fine, no problem, I help her because that's just what you do.

To thank me, she hands me her Mary Kay business card and catalog. 

Let's let that sink in for a second. Me, half asleep, no coffee, shitty mood, taken away from my music and literature that would've bettered my mood, and you want to hand me your cosmetics selling business card?! GAH!

So, I fight the urge to tell her exactly where she can shove that business card AND that catalog and thank her and as graciously as I can muster, then add a "but as you can see, I really don't wear a lot of make up". Think that phased her? NOPE. "Oh, that's ok! Our number one selling products are our skin care products!" AWESOME! Thanks lady, I know it's shark week and my face looks like a peperoni pizza. Way to increase you chances of sales...not. Conversation kept up until we got off of the bus...at the same stop.  (someone shoot me now) I show her where her building is, show her where to pick up the bus to leave, shove my headphones back in and rupture my eardrums on the rest of my walk to work.

Today was a success in my book, I made it to work without ripping this lady (or anyone else) a new one. I'll end my rant here. I hate morning people.

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